One Track Minds
by slipshodsliver
Summary: When Mario and Luigi try to help Princess Peach get to sleep, will the cure be worse than the problem? Rated T for attempted nudity.


On a small course in the Mushroom Kingdom, Luigi was practicing his backswing. "There's nothing like a nice game of golf. Quiet, slow, no blue shells coming out of nowhere. Why can't we do it more often?"

"What can I say, Luigi? We're natural sportsman, with that rugged physique and hand-eye coordination only plumbers can have. It's up to us to defend the reputation of the Mushroom Kingdom from the Koopas, even with sports."

"Yeah, the Koopas. The ones that invented unnecessary roughness. I tell you, give me a day without them anytime."

"Uh, Luigi? We're having one right now."

"I know! Isn't it great?"

Mario laughed, "I have to say it is. Hey look! That's the Princess's golf cart!" He waved, "Hey, Princess! We're over here!"

Toad waved as he drove the cart over to them and parked it. "Mario! Luigi! What brings you two over here."

"Well, with no green pipes to be chasing Bowser into, we decided to just have some fun on the greens."

"Yeah, that's why we're here." Toad pointed over to Princess Peach.

"Hey Pea-"

Mario stopped. Princess Peach looked absolutely haggard. There were bags under her sunken eyes, her hair was a mess, and she looked like she hadn't slept for most of the night, "Are you okay, Princess?"

"Wha?"

"Princess, you look like you should really go to sleep."

Peach waved him off weakly. "It's ok. I'm fine, I'm..." Her head fell back and she started snoring.

"Whoa. What's what her?"

Toad sighed. "Walk with me and I'll tell you all about it."

"Walk?" asked Mario.

"Trust me on this." The cart puttered along with the brothers strolling along with it as Toad explained, "So yeah, Princess Peach hasn't been getting much sleep at all lately. And when she does sleep, she's-"

"Tossing and turning?"

Toad nodded and continued sadly, "She's already doing it? Yeah, the sleep she does get? Not really helping. Probably nightmares and stuff from... him."

"That lousy Koopa. It's too much stress being kidnapped like that all the time."

"Mario, isn't there something we can do?" offered Luigi.

"We've tried everything," said Toad. "Warm milk, cookies, stories-"

"Stories? Like bedtime stories?"

"Hey! We do what it takes, alright?"

"Sure, sure. Sorry."

"Nothing's helping. Not even the stuff that makes you sleep. She's still having nightmares and waking up in cold sweats."

"Yeah. Poor Peach. Luigi's right. I wish there was something we can do to put her to sleep."

For several moments, all was still save the sounds of the golf cart.

"That's not what I meant, Toad. I meant, you know, keeping watch over her."

"I don't know. I mean, Toadsworth's trying to find stuff, but honestly, I don't think seeing people worrying over her is really helping. Princess Peach had me bring her here to try to get away from it all but I don't think she's in any condition to play."

"Yeah, she really needs to try to relax more. Listen Toad, I'll promise you that we'll do what we can to help."

"Thanks. You two are the best. Listen, I'm going to get Princess Peach back to the castle. Tell me if you guys find anything."

"You've got it."

Mario and Luigi waved Toad as he slowly drove away. Luigi turned to Mario, "So I guess this means no back nine for today."

"Not today, bro. We've got to find something to help the princess with her nerves."

"Just par for the course, eh Mario?"

"Ugh."

* * *

Mario sighed, "You know Luigi, I'm starting to think this is kind of out of out league."

"Come on Mario, you'll think of something. I mean, weren't you a doctor?"

"That was viruses."

"What about that bit as a psychologist?"

"That was ghosts."

"Yeah," *Sniff* "And you never did hear my story about the school hoodlums."

"Counseling you still won't get us out of this mess! Now think, what can we get her to help her relax?"

"Well I don't know Mario. It sounds like Toad and Toadsworth have tried everything."

"You're right, Luigi. I don't think the solution to our problems is going to come from a salesperson."

"Yeah. Unless..." Luigi started rifling through a drawer in his nightstand. "Here it is. A little singed, but still good."

"Hmm, hey Luigi, whose card is that?"

"A salesperson, and maybe just the one we need."

"A salesperson? We've met a lot of shopkeepers, but which one would have what we need? I'm sure they've already tried all the normal things like Sleepy Sheep, so it'd have to be someone way out there to-"

"Hey, Friendly Floyd. How are you? It's me, Luigi!"

"Him? Luigi, I'm not sure this is a good idea."

''Luigi, Luigi. Ah yes! The first and only guy to try the Miracle Makeup Kit. You must be a real satisfied customer to call me up after all this time.''

"Yeah, well it's a good thing you left one of your business cards behind before you left."

''I don't remember that happening.''

"It slipped out. I kinda picked it up when no one was looking. Listen, we need something."

''You name it, I got it!''

"Good. Listen. I need something to put someone to sleep. But it's got to be something special. We're talking Nightmare-B-Gone here."

''Ah. I've got just thing. It's a snake that only feeds on awake people. Brilliant incentive, hmm?''

"What! No! We need something that isn't dangerous."

''I see. Well, I do have something that just came on the market. Psycho Kamek's self-hypnosis CD for sleepers. Insomnia and nightmares cured, guaranteed.''

"You know, I'm not sure why, but I think that's perfect!"

"Okay, not I'm really not sure this is a good idea."

''No problem. 30 coins, plus shipping and handling. It'll all be in the bill.''

"Thanks, Floyd."

''Anytime. But why stop there. I've got tons of new merchandise. For example, this amazing costume gun. Perfect for-''

"Maybe another time. Just send the CD."

''Right, and thanks for purchasing from Friendly Floyd!''

Luigi hung up, "There. Problem solved."

"Whatever you got, do you really think it'll help?"

"Of course! And if not, well, no harm done, right?"

* * *

"90 coins? This is warp pipe robbery, Luigi."

"Well Mario, it did come from Little Fungitown, and uh, heheh. I did kind of have it shipped express. Except uh..."

"Yeah, okay, I'll go in for half. IF this looks good."

"Thanks Mario! You're the best!"

"What is this anyways?" Mario opened the package. "Psycho Kamek's self-hypnosis CD for sleepers. Uh, Luigi..."

"Like I said, Mario, this seems perfect."

"Why this?"

"Like I said, I'm not really sure. I guess it's just this gut feeling."

"And like I said, I really, really don't think this is a good idea."

"Oh come on Mario, the Princess needs our help. It's worth a try."

Mario sighed, "When you're right, you're right. Want to take it over?"

"Nah, bro. You do it."

"It was your idea."

"Yeah, but you were the one who came up with finding the right salesman."

"Heh. Thanks Luigi, you're the best."

* * *

"Hi Toadsworth. How's Peach?"

Toadsworth shook his head sadly, "Still dispossessed of sleep, I'm afraid. I fear that the kidnappings have taken their toll after all this time."

"Well, I think I have something that may help."

"Do you? Well by all means, don't tarry here. Go on ahead and hand it to her."

"Uh, yeah. That's what I'm here for."

"Oh bless your heart, Mario."

"Yeah, here's hoping it works."

"Indeed."

* * *

"Princess Peach?"

Peach was thrashing about in her bed again, "Nuh, nuh... leggo leggo! Let go!" Her eyes shot open. "Bowser! Do- What?"

Mario cleared his throat. "Uh, Princess?"

Peach dragged the bedsheet to cover herself as she sat upright. "M-Mario! What are you doing here?"

"Well, I heard about your troubles getting enough sleep and-"

"W-what? That rumor?" Peach chuckled nervously. "I'm fine. I've just... had a little too much coffee."

"When was the last time you drank coffee?"

"Oh, you know, it was... it was..." she began to cry into her sheet.

"It's the nightmares, isn't it? Why now? Did Bowser do something the last time-"

"N-No. I just... I don't even know why now. I just see him when I sleep. He's coming to kidnap me again. And again. And when I wake up sometimes I think I'm still in his castle, in some cell of his."

"Princess, why didn't you tell us sooner?"

Peach sniffled, "I'm supposed to be the leader of the Mushroom Kingdom. If the Toads knew their princess was cracking up... No. I have to be strong for them."

"You can't be strong if you can't rest. You're going to grind yourself into a pit at this rate."

"Mario!"

"Oh, sorry. But, Toad and Toadsworth already know, and-"

"I know. But nothing helps. Oh, Mario, am I going insane?"

"Not a chance. Listen Princess. No, Peach. You're one of the strongest people I know."

"Oh, stop."

"I'm serious. Who else can keep standing up to Bowser after all the stuff he's pulled. And not just Bowser. There's Smithy and the Shadow Queen and so on. Peach," Mario walked up to her and held her hand, "We're always going to be here for you no matter what, because we care about you."

Peach wiped her tears, "Mario, thank you."

"Oh don't thank me yet." Mario held up a package. "We got you something to help you."

"Oh Mario, you shouldn't have." She opened the package. "...Uh, M-Mario?"

"Yeah, I know we've had a problem with this hypnosis stuff in the past. But this isn't that Bowser's junk. And Luigi swore by it. It's from someone he met in Little Fungitown."

"Huh? Sorry, I'm a little foggy right now..."

"Don't worry about it. Heck, I had that bean fever stuff at the time. Trust us, Peach. Everything's going to be alright, you'll see."

She nodded weakly. "Thank you. I'll give it a try. How can I ever repay you two?"

"With a good night's sleep, Princess."

"Yes, I'm sure I'll be having them from now on." She gave a small smile to Mario. She had said those words to Toad and Toadsworth before. She only hoped that it would be true this time. "Good night, Mario."

"Good night, Princess Peach."

* * *

"Right." Peach had one of her retainers bring her a cd player and some headphones. The manual to the cd promised 8 hours of sleep, so she plugged the player in. "Alright. Let's hope this works."

The cd opened to a soft chime, followed by white noise that seemed to merge with a voice. It was an old voice, but one that was still soft and reassuring.

''_Are you feeling stressed out? Worried about the everyday grind of day-to-day life? Relaaaaax. Everything will be fine in the morning. Now is your time to rest and recover from all the hard work you've done today.'' _

_ I hope so... _

_ ''Let's start by getting that weary body to stop twisting and turning. Take a nice deep breath. That's right. Breath in. Hold it for a few moments. Let it absorb your worries and your restlessness. Now let it out nice and slow. Feel that air as it leaves your body, taking your problems with it. Don't you feel better? More relaxed?'' _

_ Yes. It feels good... _

_ '' Let's continue shall we? Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. Yes. With every breath you're leaving your worries behind, and your body is calming down with your mind. Just a little more, and you will have the restful sleep you've wanted for so long...''_

_ The rest... wanted..._

_ ''So very close to sleep. Your body still, your breaths getting quieter and smaller with no more of that built-up tension to take with them. So very calm. So very peaceful.'' _

_ This was... so easy..._

_ '' Let this feeling take you deeper, deeper into that wondrous feeling of tranquility that is enveloping you like a soft, warm blanket. Your eyelids are growing heavy. Heavy. Slowly, slowly you descend into sleep...''_

_ Zzzzz..._

_ ''Isn't it good to be asleep? Isn't it good to not have a care in the world? But you don't deserve just a few minutes of restfulness. The entire night is a time just for you, and you'll never get the serenity you need if you let those nasty bad dreams trouble you. But never fear, for Psycho Kamek is here to help bring you good dreams. Dreams to help make sure that you face the new day feeling revitalized and ready. Let's begin. One... two...''_

* * *

"Well Toadsworth? How is she?"

"It's incredible! I've never seen her sleep so well in her life. Mario, Luigi, once again we are in your debt. How can we ever repay you?"

"Think nothing of it, Toadsworth. Anything for the Princess. We're just glad it worked."

"As am I."

"So can we talk to her?"

"I am afraid not. She went back to sleep just now."

"Wow, that's a bit early isn't it?"

"I wouldn't worry about it, Luigi. The Princess is just catching up on lost rest. We'll come back another time. Just let her know we came, please. And let us know if the insomnia comes back."

"It's no problem. The Mario Brothers are always welcome here. And I wouldn't worry about that. I suspect she'll be having good sleep and pleasant dreams for a long time to come."

* * *

"Princess? You're going to bed again? It's the middle of the day!"

Peach yawned, "I'm still tired Toadsworth."

"You've been like this for a week now. And that's not mentioning the naps. I am starting to be concerned."

"That's," *yawn* "sweet of you, Toadsworth. But I haven't slept like this in years. It's really kind of nice. And the dreams..." she blushed.

"What dreams?"

"Oh I can't. It's just too embarrassing."

"Princess... just what was it that Mario gave you?"

"Hmm? Oh, just something to help me sleep. Toadsworth, you're worrying over nothing. Besides, who knows how much longer I have to relax until..."

"I suppose you have a point. Still, could you at least wear something... I don't know... appropriate?"

"What?"

"In all seriousness, such revealing dress isn't like you."

"It's... it's hot."

"Hot? Well, let's find somewhere cooler for you to sleep and-"

"It's fine. I'm fine. Really, Toadsworth, you don't need to worry so much about me."

"Princess Peach, I understand you want to be strong for us, but that doesn't mean we won't worry about you. I just want what's best for you."

"I know you do," Peach kissed him on the forehead. "And right now what's best for me is to get my rest."

"Very well," Toadworth bowed his head. "Good night to you, Princess."

"Good night, Toadsworth."

Once he left, Princess Peach went straight to her bed, setting up the cd player.

''_Are you feeling stressed out? Worried about the everyday grind of day-to-day life? Relaaaaax...''_

* * *

"The Princess!" demanded Toadsworth. "Where is she?"

The Toad guard blubbered, "She's not here! Bowser must have taken her!"

"The nerve! Kidnapping our Princess in the middle of the day like this! Summon the Mario Brothers immediately! Have them bring her back!"

* * *

A small contraption was landing on a much larger airship. King Bowser gingerly got off, carrying his prize in his arms. A Rocky Wrench popped up nearby, "King Bowser! Didya-"

Bowser shushed him, "Quiet, fool. You'll wake her! Get me a chair or something!"

"Right away, sir!"

Bowser smiled as his minion disappeared back into the ship, staring into the sleeping face of his captive princess. This was the first time he remembered that he had kidnapped her and she had remained sleeping of her own accord. It was a very pleasant surprise to him to see that sweet smile on her face. It was the same smile he knew she'd one day be gracing him with, instead of saving it for... them.

The Rocky Wrench and a green Koopa Troopa appeared, carrying a large beach chair normally meant for Bowser. As they set it down, He gently laid her upon it and smiled wider. He was familiar with seeing her more exciting outfits during their sports competitions, but this was much better. It was a surprisingly flattering two-piece bikini with the addition of knee-high socks and transparent lace. She was at peace, her chest fluttering slightly with each calm breath. Not a care or fear in the world, it seemed.

His minions stood beside the chair, awaiting further orders. Bowser rubbed his hands in glee; this was a very good sign. No panic, no screams, no slaps in the face. Just that lovely face... with those ugly earphones connected to that tacky player that was currently on her stomach. He chuckled at the thought of his princess needing a lullaby to sleep. Not even a snore, but Bowser could guess that this was a very deep sleep. Perhaps she wouldn't even notice if...

Bowser leaned in and had almost tried it before he began to hear some sort of mumbling. He couldn't make it out, but the cd was apparently still playing. Bowser twitched. He didn't care what the voice was, but it was ruining the ambulance. Carefully, slowly, he took the headphone off her ears. Then he gingerly picked up the headphones and cd player. And then, when he saw that he was still asleep, he chucked the items over his shoulder and leaned back in for the kiss. There was a loud crash as the player shattered on the airship's deck.

Peach's eyes opened. "Huh? Wha? Snu?"

Bowser snapped back upright, sighing and readying himself for the inevitable.

"huuuhhhh?" Peach stared at him with glazed, tired eyes. She felt vaguely that she was on a beach chair. Yes, that made sense. But standing in front of her... Tall, green... Who was it? A familiar voice echoed in her head, _''Your friends are here with you, if you wish. Each of them like you, content and without a care in the world. They're here to help make this place even more pleasant and enjoyable...'' _She squinted, "Lu...Luigi?"

Bowser just stared in confusion. _Did she just say..._

Peach smiled, "Luigi, are you here just to keep me company?"

_Whoa. Is she sleepwalking or what? _He smiled gleefully again, _Well, as they say, never wake a sleepwalker. This is going to be fun. _"Yes. It's a me, the green guy."

Peach chuckled, "Oh Luigi, you and your jokes."

The Rocky tried to correct her, "Uh..." Suddenly, he felt Bowser's glare pressing on him. Wilting from it even though he didn't see it, he continued, "It's a me? Mario?"

Peach smiled. "Oh Mario, it's so sweet of you two to spend the day with me again. And I like the sunglasses."

"Princess, it's-a what we're-a here for. -a."_ Humiliating or not, I'm going to have the princess head over heels for me one way or another._

"Oh thank you." Peach looked out past them. ''_In that mind's eye of yours, it's a beautiful summer day. The sun is shining, the skies are blue, and the clouds are fluffy white. You can hear seagulls cry out in the distance, and watch the waves as they slowly come in and out...''_ "It's really a beautiful summer day, isn't it? The sun is shining, the skies are blue..."

"It sure-a is, Princess."

Peach looked at Bowser. "You know Luigi, maybe this is just me. But there is just something... I don't know... odd about you."

"Mwa?"

"Yes." Her glazed eyes squinted at him. "Did you get a haircut?"

Bowser covered his hair and looked around, "What, this? Uh... uhh..." He quickly scooped up the green Koopa and placed him on his head like a hat. "It's uh... pasta sauce. From all the pasta I eat. You know, Cause I'm a plumber, and we plumbers love our pasta."

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just for a second you looked like," _''There are no problems here. Everything and everyone here only adds to the pleasantries of the beach. Nothing to be afraid of, and nothing to worry about. Everything's here to help keep your peace of mind.'' _"Oh, I'm just being silly. There's nothing to be afraid of."

"R-Right. You're-a safe with-a us. So-a, uh, what do you want to do today?"

Peach stretched, "Wow. This chair is so big. You didn't have to go this far just for me." She took off her socks and placed them gently on the arm rest. Getting off the chair and standing on the deck, her face tried to frown in confusion.

"Uh, is-a something wrong-a?"

"It's..." Peach shook her head and closed her eyes, "It's the sand. It feels... strange."

"The, uh, sand? You're just tired. You just need to relax-a. Everything is-a be fine-a."

"Relax..." Peach said sleepily. "Everything will be... fine..."

"Yeah, just have a seat again and relax. Rest, alright?"

"Rest... that sounds good..." Peach sat back on the chair and returned to her deep sleep.

"Wow," said the Rocky. "That was close."

"Beach! Now!" hissed Bowser quietly.

"But King-"

"Ssshhh! An order's an order!"

"But there's not enough room for-"

"Everyone else can head back to the castle! We're going to the beach!"

The Rocky gulped, "Yes, I'll tell the others sir."

"Can I get off now?" asked the Koopa Troopa on Bowser's head, "This view of your shell is getting really-"

"Really what?"

"Inspiring, sir. Really inspiring, sir. Yes sir, no problems at all."

"Good."

* * *

It was an agonizingly slow landing. King Bowser wouldn't allow anything else. There was only the slightest of bumps as the airship hit ground. With Peach still sleeping on deck and the rest of the fleet returning to Bowser's castle, Bowser gathered his minions on the ship.

"Alright Koopa Troop! Here's the deal! I'm ordering a day at the beach. Anyone got a problem with that?"

"Woo!" "Yay!" "Go King!" "Awesome!" "Beach Party!"

"Good. Now, we're going to need food, umbrellas, hats. You know, beach stuff."

"Uh... sir?"

"This had better be good."

"We didn't bring any of that stuff."

Bowser pinched his nose, "Didn't bring any of... We're the Koopa Troop! They're wuss Toads! Figure it out!"

"Woo! Wait. Can we get stuff for ourselves?"

"Be quick about it!"

"Woo!" "Man, it's been forever since we had a good loot!" "Let's show 'em who rocks!" "Raid Party!" Bowser's troops quickly ran off. Bowser stopped one of them, "Uh-uh. You ain't going anywhere, ''Mario''."

"Aw, man."

"And me, King Bowser?"

"You're staying right where you are, hat."

*sigh*

* * *

Bowser carried the sleeping Princess in his chair as they disembarked off the airship and stepped onto the beach. "You got it?" he asked the Rocky.

"Yeah boss, only bottle of sunscreen I could find."

"Good." Bowser set the chair down with a soft thud, jolting her awake.

"Hmm? Luigi? Mario?"

_I'm beginning to wish she really was awake. _"Yes-a. It's-a me, Luigi. The sand's fine."

With still-glazed eyes and a small smile, Peach got off the chair once more, "Oh, the sand is perfect. It's soft and warm." She curled some of the sand under her toes. "And the air is crisp, carresing me with a sweet breeze. You feel it too, don't you?"

"Yeah-a. A-Sure. So Princess Peach, what'd you want to do?"

"Oh Luigi, Mario, there's so much we can do. We can rest in our chairs, or take a stroll down the sands."

"Yeah! Let's do that."

Peach looked at Bowser in confusion, "We can... We can..."

"Uh," Bowser put his hands up in an apologetic manner, "Ah. I'm-a sorry, Princess. Go on. We can-a rest in our chairs, or take a stroll-a down the sands..."

She smiled, "We can play games on the shore, and the ocean is always inviting us to take a swim."

"Right. Let's-a... We can take-a a stroll down the sands, a stroll down-a the sands-a"

"Stroll down the sands. That sounds good."

_Wow. I probably shouldn't have smashed that whatchamacallit. _"Lead the way, Princess."

"Why thank you, Luigi." Peach carefully took off her lace, setting it next to her socks.

"Don't forget your sunscreen, Princess," offered the Rocky.

"Why thank you Mario." Peach started applying some to herself. "Will you be wanting any?"

"We... uh... we put some on while you were asleep," answered Bowser.

Once she was done, the four of them started off, "This is so relaxing here."

"It sure is," agreed Bowser.

"We're completely safe here. There's neither man nor beast to harm us."

"Not even Bowser?" asked the Rocky. Bowser glared at him.

Peach laughed, "Bowser doesn't know about this place." She winked at them, "And we're not going to tell him, okay?"

"Of course not."

Bowser smirked, "Not a chance-a, Princess."

"There's nothing be afraid of, and nothing to worry about. I'm safe from Bowser here. No kidnappings, no being held prisoner. This is a time and place just for us."

"We'd probably have a lot more places and times like this if you just married Bowser," remarked the Koopa.

Peach stopped, "Wha- What Luigi?"

Bowser began to sweat, "Uh... erm..."

"I... why..."

"Muahahahahah!" Bowser banged his 'hat' against his stomach several times. "It was-a joke, Princess Peach. Something to help make this place more uh.."

"Pleasant and enjoyable?" Said the princess unsurely.

"Yeah! Yeah! Pleasant and enjoyable. Beautiful summer day. Stroll down the sands. Nothing to be afraid of, and nothing to worry about."

Peach swayed slightly, "Nothing... to worry about..."

"You're safe from Bowser here."

"I'm safe from Bowser here."

The Rocky smiled, "Hah, not just here, Princess. Imagine Bowser trying to marry you. It'd be a shotgun wedding, with me holding the shotgun."

Peach tried to stifle a laugh.

"Forget the shotgun. A big enough feast, and he'd fall right through the floor," added the Koopa, who quickly whispered, "Just trying to help, boss."

"Ha ha! Oh, you two are the best. Really. This reminds me of the time Bowser and Booster kissed at Marrymore."

Bowser twitched as the others laughed. _Stay calm. Stay calm. Don't flatten everyone._ "Hey look! It's the ocean. The ocean is always inviting us to take a swim!"

"Yes! Let's go, Luigi." Peach led them to the water, "Oh, don't you feel it? The water's so cool and clean. So... cold..." She looked around. "Where are the Toads? The Toads are always here."

"I, uh, I sent them to get us all the beach stuff we needed," offered Bowser. "It's going to be the best beach party ever! Now come on and let's have some fun in the water, what dya say?"

"But the Toads..."

_Bah! _"Hmm. Tell ya what. We'll stay here to watch for the Toads. Relax. Trust us. There's nothing to worry about. We're here to make things more pleasant and enjoyable. Have your fun."

"Trust... you...Nothing to... worry about..." Peach blinked her dulled eyes. "Thanks Luigi! You and Mario are the best!"

* * *

"I don't get it."

"What's there to get, Rocky?"

"Well, she's the one who rules the kingdom you want, right?"

"Yeah?"

"But it's like, I don't know, that's not the only reason you keep kidnapping her."

"Well, of course not."

"Well, why then?"

"Have you been listening at all when I make my big speeches?"

"Of course, Big B. But why her?"

"Oh come on, don't you see it?"

"Uh. No."

"Take off the sunglasses."

"Right. Still not seeing it."

"Yeah, I'm not seeing it either."

"You're not even looking at her!"

"That's not my fault."

"Actually-"

"Grrrr..."

"Right, sorry. Go on."

"I mean, just look at her. Her smooth skin. The way her eyes light up when she smiles. How happy her smile is. Right now, even when she's just playing in the water, the way she seems to be... I don't know. Dancing? Like there's not a care in the world. And her hair, bouncing along her back. Always so sweet and nice, in that way that's supposed to be nauseating and sappy, but she still makes it work." Bowser sighed, "It's the whole kit and kaboodle there, ya know?"

"Uh...I'm going to guess this is a king thing?"

Bowser frowned, "Those cake recipes we use? We stole them from her."

"Oh! Oh yeah, yeah I can definitely see that."

"Oh, I love those cakes."

"Right." Bowser put his fist to his chin, "Now, what I don't get is what does she see in those two fat do-gooding lousy plumbers?"

"Well," suggested the Koopa, "Maybe they cook really nice pasta."

"Oh, shut up."

Peach called out to them "Hey Luigi, Mario. Come on and let's have a swim!"

Bowser smiled gleefully. "Coming, Princess!"

"Uh, King, your troops are here."

"What?" Bowser turned around, _Of all the rotten times,_ He called back to Peach, "We'll be there in a second!" He tromped up to his troops, one of whom spotted him, "Hey-"

Bowser put a finger to his mouth in a way that allowed no response, "Listen, up. You got everything?"

"Uh..."

"Look, just keep it quiet."

"Yeah, boss. Food, beach stuff, the works."

"Right. Right. Make yourselves at home. Uh. Just one thing. Uh. Don't think about it. Just call me Luigi and him Mario, okay? And if Peach calls you something, don't talk back."

"What?"

"Hey King, is this one of those brainwashing things?"

"What? No! It's more of a sleepwalking thing. Look. Just do as I say, and don't give me no lip, got it?" His troops nodded. "Good. Now have your party, I have to go back and-"

"Hey boss, she's coming."

"Of course." Bowser turned around, "Hey Peach. How's it going?"

"Oh just great. I see the Toads are here. Would one of you be so nice as to hand me a towel please?"

"Go long!"

Peach smiled, "Thanks!"

"Ah, yeah, yeah. The Toads. They're Toads, Princess. Here and um..."

"We're ready to party!"

"That's great. Now, who's up for some volleyball!"

* * *

"More food!"

"Here's some food, Mr. Luigi," the Goomba snickered as he handed the king another sandwich.

Bowser snarled softly.

"Oh come on boss. Lighten up. This whole thing is pretty silly."

"Silly, is it?"

"Yeah. I mean, seriously, is she really worth-"

"Of course it's worth it. I mean, look at the way her skin shines when she..."

"Ah, right, sorry. I won't disturb you anymore."

"Hmph. You can leave me in peace after you get me another steak."

"Sure thing."

"Hey, how about saving me some for later?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Hat." The goomba laughed as he left.

"Whoo," The Rocky Wrench plomped himself on the sand next to Bowser. "She's got a lot of energy at least,"

"No kidding. Volley, Frisbee, swimming. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it." Bowser took a bite of his sandwich, "You know, there's just something about food you've taken with the sweat of your brow from the hands of the losers."

"Amen to that."

Peach walked up to them, "Oh Mario, Luigi, Come on, we've got lots more to do."

Bowser sighed, "We'd love to do it with you, Princess, but we're tired."

"T-Tired?" Peach blinked. "You're... tired? Why are you... This isn't making..."

"Uh, Uh, Tired's the wrong word," stammered the Rocky Wrench. "This is really more resting."

"Yeah. Resting. You know, it's a beautiful summer day-a, the sun is warm-a, the skies-a are blue."

"A... beautiful summer day."

"There's so much we can-a do."

"So... much... we can do..."

"And we want to rest-a and watch the clouds go-a by. How does that sound-a, Princess?"

"Sounds... sounds pleasant. And enjoyable."

"So you see? Everything is-a fine. There's nothing to-a worry about."

"Nothing to worry about. I'm so sorry, Luigi. We're all here to have fun. We're here to do as we wish. Here we can be at peace."

"That's very kind and understanding of you, Princess," said the Rocky Wrench.

"Why thank you Mario. But I still think I should make it up to the two of you."

Bowser and the Rocky smiled in anticipation, "Oh?"

She nodded, "Yes. Let's..." She stopped and blushed.

"Yeah?" "Yeah?"

She spoke coyly, "I... Oh. It's still so embarrassing, even after all these times we've done it."

Bowser's eyes glimmered. "You know we don't mind, Princess. Doing it's always fun."

"I know," Peach blushed even more as she started drawing circles in the sand, "But here? In front of all these people?"

Bowser smiled, "You know us, Princess. Always up for anything. So, what do you have in mind?"

"Oh, you know, the usual." Peach smiled back, "That is, if you two boys think you can handle it."

"Well..."

A brief elbowing and Bowser interrupted, "We're ready, Princess. No problem."

She leaned in and smiled, "Let's do it then! Let's bake a cake!"

"Whoopee!"

Bowser's smile froze. _I hate my life._ "That's a-great, Princess. Just great."

Peach looked around, "But... but I don't see the oven."

"The oven? Why would-"

Bowser elbowed his wingman again, "There's no oven here because the Toads are getting you a new one. It'll be great. Probably unlike any oven you've seen before." He stood up. "Tell you what. You rest here and be at peace. I'll get us some more sunscreen and go tell them to fetch the oven."

"Why, thank you Mario." She laid down gently on the bed and began staring into the sky as Bowser walked away.

* * *

One of Bowser's troops came up to him, "Hey boss, we're about to do another run. What do you need?"

"Sunblock."

The koopa whistled to a nearby Dry Bones, "Boss needs some sunblock."

"No problem. Here ya go."

The Dry Bones tossed it over. "Anything else, boss?"

"An oven."

"An oven? At the beach?"

"Look, the Princess is dreaming. And if she says there's an oven, there's an oven. I don't care if it's electric and you need enough extension cords to plug it into the air ship. You get that oven here."

"R-Right away sir, b-but"

"But what?"

"What cake recipe are we doing?"

"Hmm. She's half-asleep. Nothing fancy, basic chocolate."

"Sure thing, sir. Anything else besides the ingredients?"

"A camcorder, and whatever the rest of the troops want."

"Right, sir, and may I say we really appreciate this."

"Yeah, yeah, now get going!"

The Koopa skittered off as Bowser cracked his knuckles, "And now to cleverly stall for time."

* * *

"Now that cloud up there, that one looks like a Blooper."

"Luigi, you've said that about all the clouds."

"Well, they do."

"Well, I think that one looks like Bowser," offered the Rocky.

Bowser agreed, "Hah, yeah. That does look like me... arch nemesis. Tough guy."

"Hmm... Yeah, and those clouds? They look like Mario and Luigi about to stomp him." Peach giggled a little.

"Yeah, yeah-a. Very heroic. Very funny."

"Luigi?" Peach sat up. "Is something wrong?"

"Uh-Buh-"

"No Princess. I was just thinking that we're here to get away from Bowser. He'll never find this place. There's nothing to worry about."

"Nothing... to worry about."

"And can't you hear the Toads, all having fun and happy? They're so..."

"Content and without a care in the world?"

"Yeah! Content and without a care in the world. Don't you want to be like that?"

"Yeah... content..."

"Let's be the same. Let's relax."

"Relax... yes... You're right." Peach slumped back down, "Thanks Luigi."

"Anytime, Princess."

"Thanks, Koopa," whispered Bowser.

"No problem, boss."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, Princess."

* * *

There was a cheer as Bowser's minions arrived with the oven, electric cords dragging all the way back to the airship.

Peach sat up, "You were right, Luigi. Oh, it looks adorable!" She skipped over to look at it.

"Psst. Boss."

"What is it, Koopa?" Bowser hissed.

"Isn't she, you know... a little sweaty and sandy to be baking?"

"Who asked you?"

"Is a clean cake too much to ask?"

"Shuddap with your clean..." Bowser's cheeks flushed. "Yeah, clean. I like that. I'm brilliant!"

The Koopa sighed, "As always, sir."

Bowser and the Rocky Wrench walked over to where Peach was going over the oven, "Oh you Mario Brothers are just amazing."

"Thanks," Bowser said flatly. He walked over to her and wrapped his massive arm around her back, "But... uh... why don't you come with us while the Toads are getting the oven ready."

"W-Why?"

"We've got something really fun for you to do in the meantime, Princess. Just us and you. Really special."

She blushed lightly, "Really?"

"We do?"

"Yeah Mario, we do."

"Huh? Oh yeah. You'll love it. It's going to be really enjoyable. A big surprise."

"Really? Just for me? That's really thoughtful of the both of you. I wonder what it is..." She reached out to hold "Mario's" hand. "Lead the way, brothers."

"So Princess, what do you think of how the day's gone?"

"It's great. It's always great being here. I'm completely safe here. Nothing to be afraid of, and nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to be afraid of, Princess. You can do whatever you want and everything will be fine. Right?"

She nodded softly, "Here I am free to do as I wish, with no risks, no consequences, nothing getting back to the outside world."

"Yeah! Yeah! What happens here stays here. Nothing getting back to the outside world."

"Nothing getting back to the outside world."

"No risks, no consequences."

"No risks, no consequences."

"You can trust us. We're here to make everything more pleasant and enjoyable."

"I can trust you. You're here to make everything more pleasant and enjoyable." She smiled, "Of course I can trust you, Mario Brothers. I can always count on you."

"You can always count on us."

"I can always count on you."

"You can trust us."

"I can trust..." she yawned. "I can trust you."

"We're here to make this place more pleasant and enjoyable."

"You're here to make everything more pleasant and enjoyable."

"So listen to us, and everything will be more pleasant and enjoyable."

"Listen to you, and everything will be more pleasant.." She stopped, and for a few moments it seemed like she was going to fall."

"And enjoyable. Don't fall asleep yet princess. It's still a beautiful summer day."

"enjoy... Don't... fall asleep. It's still a beautiful summer day. No... don't fall asleep..."

"That's right. Just listen to us. We're your friends."

"That's right. Just listen to you. You're my friends."

"Right. And we're here."

"And we're here?" Peach blinked. "Where's here?" She blinked again, "Is that a shower?"

"Yeah, we got it just for you," nodded the Rocky Wrench, "So we could... uh..."

"So Princess, how's about you take those clothes off and we have a nice relaxing shower?"

"A... A... shower?"

"Yeah. Just the three of us."

"I... I... Luigi... I don't... I can't..."

"Don't worry about it, Princess." The Rocky patted his bare stomach. "Hey, Me and Luigi have been au natural this whole time."

"Yeah, yeah." Bowser took the Koopa off his head, playfully tossing him to the sand behind him.

"You..." Peach closed her eyes. "You're naked? You've been naked."

"You can trust us, Peach. We only wanted to make this day even more pleasant and enjoyable."

"I don't... I'm not..."

"There's nothing wrong, Princess. It's a beautiful day, and someone like you shouldn't have to cover yourself up."

"Beautiful sunny day... I... I shouldn't have to..."

"Yeah, Princess. You're here to be at peace. Content and without a care in the world."

"Content... without..."

"Yeah. I promise you no one will ever hear of this. None of this will ever get back to the outside world."

"It won't? No risks? No... consequences?"

"None at all. You can do as you wish. Do you see any problems here?"

"There... are no problems here..."

"There are no problems here. Just remember that."

Peach opened her eyes and smiled vacantly. "There are no problems here."

"Right. There are no problems here. This shower thing? It's pleasant and enjoyable. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Pleasant and enjoyable. Yes, I'd like that."

"And you can do as you wish."

"You're right, Mario. I can do as I wish. And what I want is to take a nice shower before we start on that cake. I hope you can wait."

Bowser rubbed her hands, "For you, Princess, we have all the time in the world."

"Thank you." Peach gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

_Jackpot!_

Peach slowly made her way to the open-air shower. Slowly, she unclasped her bra and took off her underwear, earrings, and crown, leaving them in a heap by her feet. _I feel so free. So peaceful. I should have done this a long time ago._

A Goomba carrying a basket walked by Bowser, "Your camcorder, boss."

Bowser picked it up with a victorious grunt, "Good job. Now give her the rest so she can start already."

"Right." The Goomba walked over to Peach. "Shower stuff, Princess?"

Peach took the basket. "Why thank you, Toad."

"I live to serve, Princess." The Goomba walked off slowly, hiding his snicker.

"So Bowser, you want to-"

Bowser was already looking through the camcorder. "Nah, Rocky. I can get the whole view from here." He watched as Peach turned on the water, shaking herself a little. From where he was all he could was mostly her legs and long blond hair, although he was enjoying her rear quite a bit. But already he could see the lather forming, slowly cascading down her skin, leaving bubbles playfully around her feet.

_That's right. Keep going. Just a few more minutes and-_

*oomph!*

"Hey Koopa."

_Oh no._ Bowser put down the camcorder and turned around. "You. You shut up you stupid plumber. The Princess and I are on a date."

Mario was standing over the defeated Rocky Wrench."Can it. We know what's going on, and it's time a nightmare like you like beat it."

"You little... how did you lousy plumbers find us?"

Luigi smiled, "Hey Koopa. Here's a free tip for you. If you're going to have your bullies rob a town, don't leave airship parked on the beach."

"Yeah? Maybe my bullies would like to have a word with you two."

Mario crossed his arms, "What bullies?"

Bowser snarled, "Do you really want to break us up? I bet it'd make her really unhappy. Why don't you meddling Marios just leave us be? Or else."

"Or else I see how far down in the sand I can bury you?"

"You rotten little..." Bowser stared at them for what seemed the longest time. "Hmph. Fine. But I'll be back." He and the rest of the minions tromped off with Mario watching.

"That's telling him, bro. Now what?"

"Now, Luigi, we have to take the Princess home."

"Ah. But she's..."

"Just turn away and let her finish, Luigi."

"Of course, Mario."

It was a few minutes later when Mario felt a soft hand on her shoulder, "Oh, Mario. Not even one peek?"

"Of course not Princess. Your shower is your own business."

"I see. That's very gentlemanly of you. But you put your clothes back on? It's not even your turn..."

"Oh, well, uh,"

"I insisted, Princess. And trust me, if you've ever seen Mario like that, you'd understand why-"

"Luigi!"

Peach laughed, "Oh you two. You've really made this the best summer day ever. And we still have that cake to bake."

"It's our pleasure, Princess."

"After you two clean up, alright." Peach whispered. "Hmm. Should I take a peek?"

Mario blushed, "I'm very flattered, but uh..."

"But... but what?"

"He just thinks you're too young to need glasses."

"LUIGI!"

She laughed again, "Oh you too. Alright. I'll go start on that cake, alright?"

"No problem, Peach."

* * *

"Hey Princess Peach!" "Woo! It's the Princess!" "Yay Princess!"

"Hi everyone!" "Are you all still having fun?"

"Yeah!"

"That's great! It's good to see everyone having such a nice... uh..." Peach's face paled.

One of the Toads walked up to her, "Oh! Don't worry about the airship, Princess. We... uh..."

Another Toad walked up, "Mario and Luigi helped us get this so that we'd have bathrooms and refrigerators and stuff for our party. We've got some Toads resting in there already. Yeah, resting."

"But uh... they're partying in there too, so if you here shouts or anything, that's what it is."

Peach smiled, "That's incredible. This really is the best beach party ever."

"You bet it is!"

"Hey Princess, show us your cake recipes!" The shout was joined by a chorus of agreement.

Peach smiled, "No problem everyone."

"Party!"

* * *

"Thank you two. This day has just been incredible. I wish it would never end"

"I know it has been, Princess. And I do too. But there are people on the other side waiting for you when you wake up."

"I..."

"I know you've had plenty of time to rest, and that's great. But if you ever feel stressed again, you don't need to escape to find relief. You just let us know. We're all here for you. Sometimes, the best way to be strong is to find others to join you. The three bundled sticks and all that."

"Right, like how you and Luigi got me that great CD."

"Uh... kind of, but try to let us know sooner, would you?"

"I..."

"Don't you worry about anything, Princess. There's nothing wrong with admitting you need help. After all you've gone through, it's the least we can do."

"Mario, Luigi, thank you so much. I don't know how to ever repay you."

"You just be you and we'll just be us, and everything will work out. In the end, no one can replace that." Mario gently kissed her hand.

"You're right, Mario."

"Thanks. Now let's go home."

_ You've had a good time, yes? But now it is time to return to the real world, re-energized by your vacation. I know you've enjoyed your time here, and will enjoy returning night and night again. But even as the dream fades away, you'll still keep those good feelings with you. _

* * *

"That was a great job, Mario, even if it was a little cornball."

"She thought she was dreaming Luigi. Best way to do it. Speaking of which, that's the last time we're buying anything from that Friendly Floyd. And it's really the last time we're trying something like that."

"Oh come on. Look at the bright side, Mario. The princess had a lot of fun, and if she hadn't distracted Bowser like that, we never would have caught them so quickly."

"Yeah, yeah. But I still don't like it."

"Yeah, you're probably right. But hey, Peach is safe, the CD's gone, and Toadsworth said he'd replace the player, so it's a happy ending, right?"

"I just wish we could tell her, but it'd probably just freak her out. Even Toadsworth and Toad agreed on that. Well, I guess this is as close to a happy ending as we're going to get."

"I guess it is. Want to turn in for the night, bro?"

"Sure thing. Good night, Luigi."

"Good night, Mario."

* * *

"Muahahah. Those stupid plumbers will never realize that I had my new camcorder pointed at Peach the whole time. And now the video is all... Hey! I don't remember putting the lens cap on... CURSE YOU MARIO BROTHERS!"

* * *

"Good night, Princess. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you, Toadsworth, I will. And thanks for putting up with everything"

"Not at all, Princess. I'm just happy to see you finding your balance after these last few days. Forgive me?"

"Of course, Toadsworth."

"...Thank you, Princess." With that, he closed the door.

Quietly, Princess Peach opened a drawer and looked at the unopened box she had just recieved.

_But there's a whole world to relax in, so be sure to enjoy what you wish. And remember, satisfaction is always guaranteed. For a catalog of all my cds, please contact Psycho Kamek at..._

She thought it over for a few moments before closing the drawer shut and smiling to herself. _On second thought, let's skip that. At least for tonight._


End file.
